10-4-09 SHES HERE

ATHENA ROSE

6lbs 6oz; 19inch @ 35 weeks

34 Weeks

I made it to 34 weeks; however, my health is beginning to slide. My body is maxed out on the procardia. I am beginning to have chest pains and a bloody nose when I lay on my right side. The acid reflux that I have been having and hoping was from a full head of hair may be a symptom of a weakening digestive system due to the medications as well as being pregnant. SCARY SCARY SCARY.

At this point. the meds will be decreased until 35 weeks when I will stop taking everything.

Wonder what is going to happen?

33 Weeks and in the Hospital Again.

ME AND COLE MAKING THE BEST OF THE HOSPITAL!

At 33 weeks 1 day, I went into labor again. After a few days in the hospital, it was stopped once again. I was given a second round of Betamethasone to further assist Athena's lung development. It is said that she weighs approximately 5lbs and 14oz.

32 Weeks: 4lbs 10oz, 17 inches

Nightmare Before Christmas Shower

Twix Candy Bar Favors
Game:
The children (all ages) painted Halloween masks.

Will I make it to the shower?

Starting next week, I am going to see the OBGYN twice a week and the specialist 1 a week. Each day is a blessing.

28 Weeks and the Contractions Begin!

It has been a crazy few days. It all started last Wednesday when I was 27 weeks and 6 days pregnant, I had a bit of pressure at work and it was uncomfortable to stand. I only had a half day of work scheduled because I had that diet counseling (yes, now I have gestational diabetes) so I just dealt with it. By the evening I was like- X, I can't stand up anymore I need to lay down to be comfortable. He says, R U going to make it and I was like sure I have an appt in the AM and I promise to tell the doctor everything. lol

I wake up in the morning and head to the Dr. I tell him what is going on and he says, given your history I need to do an internal. He did and says, your 1cm and need to go to the hospital for monitoring. I headed straight to the hospital. After being attached the monitor for an hour, the nurse comes in and says that she is seeing "blips" so she is going to start an IV to be on the safe side. Soon following the dr came in and examined me and I was 2cm dilated at that point. He said given all of your issues we are admitting you. As the hours progress, I began having more and more contractions. This all happened so fast.

They had me on mad doses of that MAG to stop the labor which did nothing for me at all. It got to one point Thursday/maybe Fri morning that I was having contractions every 2 min and the Dr sat down with me and said, if the pills we give you now don't work, there is nothing else to do. The neonatal team was on standby and all the equipment was there and waiting for Athena. SCARY SCARY SCARY, All I could think is "it is happening again!"

I get so disgusted with my body. Why can't I have it easy like all these other people?

25 Weeks 6 days

Athena Rose @ 25 weeks.
She is 2 lbs and 13 1/2 inches


Athena was not thrilled about the idea of me going to Slayer concert so she let us know. lol We may have encountered one more obstacle. Yes, gestational diabetes. The dr does not want me tested until I finish the antibiotics that I am taking. Like a double ear infection, bronchitis and sinusitis is not bad enough. lol

WE HAVE A NAME!!

I am just so happy that Alex found a middle name that made the first name that I wanted sound even better.

Her name is:

ATHENA ROSE

24 Weeks!

I am officially 24 weeks pregnant today which gives me hope. At this point in time, if I were to have the baby early, the medical professionals would attempt to save her life.

On a very positive note, my cervix has not changed since the last appointment; however, it changes when there is any type of pressure placed on my abdomen. In my case, the least amount of activity to accomplish my day is the most beneficial to my baby. Of course, I am going to do and continue to do all I can to have a happy healthy baby.

23 Weeks 6 days

Here we go again. . . . .

At 23 weeks, my cervix is beginning to funnel which is not a good sign. The dr recommended that I go on disability but I don't have disability........ 1 more week (July 16) and the baby will be viable if born.

Come on little girl- we can do this!!

Its a Girl!!

21 WEEKSMy defense mechanisms prohibit me from getting excited. I want so much to be the happy pregnant lady. Maybe when I hit 24 weeks and I know there is some hope for survival, I will rejoice. On a positive note, the baby is developing perfectly. All body systems are operating and she is dancing like a little ballerina.

Me and the baby enjoyed some Reznor on 6/6/09

17-20 Weeks.

This Thursday I will be 17 weeks. If I were comparing pregnancies, I could say that 17 weeks began the downward spiral last pregnancy. I was on complete bed rest from 17 weeks until the end of my pregnancy, which was 20 weeks. At 20 weeks, my daughter died.

Besides an overall sense of uneasiness, I have yet to feel a sliver of excitement. I was informed that this feeling of "nothing" is common in women who experienced trauma.

People who don't have children and those who never lost a child advise me to remain positive and all will work out. I was positive last pregnancy and look where that got me. I guess it is safe to say that I do not believe in mind over matter at this point. If anything, I have more hope in science and technology as well as hope in the doctors who specialize in high risk pregnancies. I have a good team this time around.

BABY AT WEEK 16!!

At this point in time, everything remains relatively positive. There is a good possibility that the baby is a boy. The ultrasound tech visualized "something" between the baby's legs but was unable to call it. I think his name should be Kaden.

I started my injections to ward off preterm labor and have been doing everything by the book. however, it remains to be determined as to whether I have placenta previa or not.

12 Weeks.

When I was handed this photo, I thought, um ok- what is that and then I realized it is the face of my baby boy or girl. ahhhh!! So far everything is going OK.

Pregnant Again

Yes, we are pregnant again!

Shortly after March 1, the day Aria was suppose to be born, my pregnancy was confirmed. [I was pregnant the day my daughter was suppose to be born, what does that mean?] I wish that I could be excited and embrace the weight that I am putting on in record speed but I can't. Maybe it is fear of attachment? Unlike the last pregnancy, everything has been progressing well. There has been no unexplained bleeding and we hope to keep it that way. Unfortunately, I am still considered high risk. Since we received a positive pregnancy test, I have been going for ultrasounds weekly. Recently, my case was turned over from the reproductive endocrinologist to the neonatalogist. I am also seeing the general GYN. I wish I had time to find a new one because my blood pressure goes up every time I step foot in his office. Why do I have to tell the nurse every time I go, that I had a baby die at 20 weeks? Did I mention that this is the same nurse that I see every time I go to the office? I just feel like calling her names (poppy is the one who gets to hear me bitch after every appointments) oh yes, I am getting to the point of using dumb C-WORDS [no, I don't mean that guy's insecure wife-hahaha*] After the year I have had, I guess I should be grateful that I still find people comical and amusing. lol

My employer has been more thoughtful this pregnancy. I cannot seem to wrap my ahead around it. I appreciate that they are looking out for my best interests this time. However, it saddens me that my former boss had enough power over everybody to put me at risk. In the grand scheme of things, his goal was accomplished: he is now a big wig in D.C. I am sure that he never gave a thought to the roll he played in my baby's demise.

Oh well; live and learn: This time everything is different.

I will be seeing the neonatalogist April 24, 2009. Poppy and Cole think it is going to be a girl. I think Boy. Alex must think girl cause he said my feeling that it is a boy stems from the trauma experienced with Aria and that I might be wrong this time. Chinese calculator says girl too. hmm maybe I am wrong.



Statistics:
6 weeks 1 day: Heart Rate:109.21 BPM
8 Weeks 3 day: 158.50 BPM


9 weeks (pic below): 172.21 BMP


11 weeks (pic below): 172 BPM






The question remains: Aria, my angel, is it a boy or girl?