This Thursday I will be 17 weeks. If I were comparing pregnancies, I could say that 17 weeks began the downward spiral last pregnancy. I was on complete bed rest from 17 weeks until the end of my pregnancy, which was 20 weeks. At 20 weeks, my daughter died.
Besides an overall sense of uneasiness, I have yet to feel a sliver of excitement. I was informed that this feeling of "nothing" is common in women who experienced trauma.
People who don't have children and those who never lost a child advise me to remain positive and all will work out. I was positive last pregnancy and look where that got me. I guess it is safe to say that I do not believe in mind over matter at this point. If anything, I have more hope in science and technology as well as hope in the doctors who specialize in high risk pregnancies. I have a good team this time around.
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