17-20 Weeks.

This Thursday I will be 17 weeks. If I were comparing pregnancies, I could say that 17 weeks began the downward spiral last pregnancy. I was on complete bed rest from 17 weeks until the end of my pregnancy, which was 20 weeks. At 20 weeks, my daughter died.

Besides an overall sense of uneasiness, I have yet to feel a sliver of excitement. I was informed that this feeling of "nothing" is common in women who experienced trauma.

People who don't have children and those who never lost a child advise me to remain positive and all will work out. I was positive last pregnancy and look where that got me. I guess it is safe to say that I do not believe in mind over matter at this point. If anything, I have more hope in science and technology as well as hope in the doctors who specialize in high risk pregnancies. I have a good team this time around.

BABY AT WEEK 16!!

At this point in time, everything remains relatively positive. There is a good possibility that the baby is a boy. The ultrasound tech visualized "something" between the baby's legs but was unable to call it. I think his name should be Kaden.

I started my injections to ward off preterm labor and have been doing everything by the book. however, it remains to be determined as to whether I have placenta previa or not.

12 Weeks.

When I was handed this photo, I thought, um ok- what is that and then I realized it is the face of my baby boy or girl. ahhhh!! So far everything is going OK.